Christinas4’s Weblog




Ok, not sure what the deal with the flipped picture is but it’s upright in my folder. My computer can barely stand the excitement of being all synced up to a new iphone. But this is us. Do we not make a happy little couple. I know most people think it’s pretty lame to wait a few hours for a phone. I get that.

But, do people not also wait and even camp out for Grateful Dead tickets? Don’t you also have to wait to get on a damn rollercoaster? Sure you do unless your JJ Walker. Dynomite. That joke would have killed in the 70’s. Let that just just marinate for awhile and then it will be as my friend STM always says, “Hilarious Prime”. 

My point is, people wait crazy amounts of times for shit they want. Like Furby’s or Tickle Me Elmo. And sure it is stupid. Yeah, duh. I could easily wait a few weeks and get one without the wait. Or I could just order it at the store and wait a few business days. I’m not a complete idiot. Just 75% idiot. The other 25% is a combo of beer and coke zero. But it was pretty fun to wait in line. We have a pretty fun crowd with us. And by us I mean me and my bff. I know I’m too old to use that phrase, but I did. 

Originally the plan was for the 8 gig. But almost around 4 hours and finally at the head of the line. Well, 4 people ahead of us. The ATT helper person or whatever came out and said the words I dreaded. We’re out of the 8 gb phone. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Son of a bitch. 

My friend was ready to pack it in. But I looked at her and couldn’t believe my ears. Do you think those dudes at the battle of waterloo got across the Potomac and told George Washington, we’re late, lets just go home? I know that’s not the right battle bitches so don’t judge me. I’m just telling a story. Oh, Napoleon. I know my history. I watched Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

My point is this. I was NOT going home without a damn phone. So I ended up with the white 16gb. And it is a little piece of heaven. I do regret report that in all of this joy and debauchery there was a casualty. I hate that someone was hurt in all this. Aside from my checkbook. As happy I was to get the fun new Iphone. I had to say goodbye to my old friend. My blackjack 2 was a faithful companion and had many fabulous functions. But the usb connection was accidentally broken when a 3 year old yanked the cord out.

It just made it impossible to charge and I couldn’t download anything on my phone. I had a back up battery and charger but what good is it when you can take pictures but can’t put them on your computer? It was sadnessprime (feel free to use that STM). As they activated my Iphone, my blackjack was deactivated. I never even got to say goodbye. But fear not. Blackjack will live again. He was sold on ebay for a pretty penny and is not living a lovely life in Brazil. I used the money for my Iphone fund. 

And that is the very true story of how Iphone and I came to be as one. I know in a couple of months there will be a newer and grander Iphone or Blackberry. But this one is mine and I love her. I just need a name for her. That’s because I like to name stuff. Probably one of the reasons I have 4 kids. I came up with a name and figured I should have another baby so I can use it. 


{June 19, 2008}   New Hair Color

Hot Tranny Mess

Obviously it’s been a long time since last post and much has happened. Sadly, nothing exciting, hmpf. I sure I wish I had some exciting adventure to report but all I have is this lame post about my hair. 

So it’s getting hot and I decided I wanted to be blonder. Too bad my camera sucks the big one so the picture isn’t all that great. I have an addiction to hair color and bleach so I’m surprised I still have any hair left on my head. I started with a base color and then did blonde chunks wherever I felt like it. Probably not the method approved by Vidal Sasson. But that guy did not even bother to help me out. 

Looking at this picture makes me scared. I just realized that if I were on Americas Next Top Model, I would be the tranny one. Tyra would tell me to watch the angles of my face so I don’t look too hard. And to add insult to injury. She’d give me the Mia Farrow hair don’t. And I’m obviously emoting enough fierceness with my eyes. I’m such a dissapointment. Maybe I could still make it on Rock of Love? Brett Michaels seem to like the ladies who look like dudes.


{March 6, 2008}   Fart Without Fear





It’s hard enough to find the right pair of jeans that don’t make your ass look big, and don’t look like mom jeans. But you also want to make sure that they are properly filtering out your stink butt. You know how it goes. You always say you’re never going back to Taco Hell, but you do. 

You just keep thinking, this time will be different. The story always ends the same and it doesn’t end well. So there you are walking up the aisles of your local grocery store when that chalupa starts to fight back. So what do you do, look for an empty aisle to releaseyour hell fire.

 And of course right at that moment someone walks up looking for some chick peas. Just your luck. What can you do? You can run but you’ll just run into them over in the chips isle and they’ll look at you with disgust. Like they’ve never had to deal with some angry hot sauce, judgey!

Anyways, my point. It looks like those of us with sensitive intestines have a friend in, Under Ease. While is seems like a gift from God  himself, I also have questions. Will the elastic around your waist and legs cut off your circulation? And most importantly, if it traps the gas, what happens when you take the pants off? Depending on what you’ve been eating, it could be instant carbon dioxide poisioning.

I don’t want anybody reading this to get the wrong idea. I am the epitome of grace and elegance. I don’t walk, I float. As a matter of fact, small woodland creatures follow me everywhere I go and do my bidding. It’s just that sometimes my intestines want to sing and their instrument of choice resides in the poop shoot region. I wonder if you can get them in skinny or boot cut? While your there, check out the gas eaters. I’m not sure where that goes but some of you may be into that. Mine is not to judge but to love.

 Under-Ease pants have an in-built multi-layered, replaceable filter, made of felt, charcoal and fibreglass wool to absorb odour.The underpants are made from air-tight fabric and are completely sealed with elastic around the waistband and legs to prevent any gas escaping.Under-Tec inventor Buck Weimer said: “Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas.“We get a lot of jokes – but we don’t doubt that this is a serious product that serves a purpose.”The pants are machine washable and the filters can last as long as several months, depending on the frequency of use and laundering.   

{March 6, 2008}   Fun with phone cameras

You know what’s great about those things? You can capture your random moments and share them with others. Weather or not they care to see them. So I am going to share a few random moments of my life with you in picture form. 




I don’t know why I found this interesting. It’s an energy drink called, Old Glory. And for those of you who want the most hyperactivity for you bucks. This tasty drink is only .99. I have no idea if it is really tasty or not as I am too scared to try it.


I also wonder if anybody else has come across Old Glory in their super caffeinated drink isle? Sorry, Ol Glory. I added a d so that’s my bad. I would like to think this is the type of drink our forefathers would be proud to drink if they could time travel. It does our flag proud. I toast to you, Ol Glory. I will be toasting you with my sugar free Rockstar, unless you also come in sugar free?




 This one I like to call, Zombie. I was out of town for work and was thinking the bathroom lighting was especially harsh. But then the bedroom lighting was pretty dim. I had no idea where to apply my make up. I could either end up looking like a clown hooker or a zombie. I chose wrong becuase I ended up looking like a zombie and what’s so wrong with clown hookers?




Apparently headbanging is timeless. Rock you like a hurricane came on and 2 of the 4 went nuts. My son asked me if I’ve ever heard of this song because it was on Guitar Hero 3. Yes, yes, my child, I have heard of this song.


He then said, “Ohhhh, I didn’t know it was from your time”. I shared with him how back in my times we didn’t have any fancy mp3 players. We had cassette tapes and after a few weeks your cassette player would eat it and you’d be screwed out of 12.99. Now how will you listen to Bon Jovi? At least it was better than having to put pennies on your record player needle.  




The littlest of the 4. He’s striking quite a fierce pose. I guess I need to work on my lighting technique. And you can’t tell but he’s also got quite the little karate kick. He’s had no formal training. He’s completely self taught. True story. You should see my shins.


  .  java.jpg 


 That’s the kind of coffee break I’m talking about. I don’t have the kind of job you take coffee breaks. But don’t we all need coffee breaks in this crazy journey we call life? And with only 14% alcohol, you can still walk a straight line and close that big business deal.


 So pretty much, nothing that exciting but it seemed exciting at the time, hmm. could it be I’m not as exciting as I think I am? Noooooooooo. Surely you jest. 

{February 21, 2008}   FEATURED, ME?!



  I logged on and thought I had just come to my front page. But, alas, I was featured. FEATURED! I’m not sure exactly what I was featured for but I hope it wasn’t for the biggest dummy award. 


I’m also assuming there is no check since I’ve not seen one in my mailbox. Of course it wouldn’t be that unusual. Let me tell you about my postal lady. She likes her cigarettes and sometimes if she doesn’t feel much like it, she will not put the packages on my door. She just leaves the yellow, “We missed you”, card in my box. I just say, “You put my mail in and drove away.” I complained once but I could tell they probably were laughing at me once I left.


 I’m just telling you guys, I do not have a long drive way or anything like that. It’s totally doable. Now I need to wait a day to pic up whatever crappy junk I won from ebay. GAAHHHH! That’s for my mail lady and for ebay always sucking me in.I can’t even tell you the amount of things I’ve gotten in the mail and thought, it looked way bigger in the picture.


 Plus they always kill you on the shipping. I get the packaging and all that business. But 25 bucks for shipping a pair of jeans? Bite me.  I get so excited at the thought of buying some Rock and Republic jeans for 60 bucks, I miss the 40 dollar shipping price. I completely went somewhere else in my head there. I digress


. Back to something. Before my postal lady rant? MY AWARD! You just have no idea how exciting it is to me. It’s almost as awesome as that, “Commie™”, I won this week. You know what I’m talking about, Hags.  I never win anything. I know people say that all the time. But I really never win anything. There was that one time I won some raffle at the school dance. It was just a free pizza at Dominos. And I didn’t deserve it because someone just handed me the ticket. I was unworthy of my pepperoni pizza, but I still ate it.


 I don’t even win at bingo. And to those in charge of featuring random blogs, thank you so much. I will be sure to keep up the randomness that occupies my medulla oblongata. I think you will find I’m full of it. 


PS, why does my stupid mac not allow me to make paragraph’s? It’s really irking me but I know not the ways of the mac.  

{February 8, 2008}   It’s coming


Valentines is upon us and what to get your loved one? Hmmm, ponder and ponder carefully. What does a reformed slutty girl get her computer/gadget loving husband? Another item that has to be synced or recharged? Hmm, that doesn’t sount too bad. Just looking around on some sites I found a few things that caught my eye. And a few things that made me laugh. To name a few.

Ultra Tech 3000, Bargain Beaver Vibrator; Do you really want to skimp when it comes to the big, O? And the caveat really made me chortle, “please note that any “bargain-style” product will almost always be constructed from moderate-quality components. Oh my, where exactly are they getting these moderate quality components? I hope they don’t contain any lead.


Karma Sutra Pleasure Balm; It reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld. “Who told you to use a balm?, Do you know what a balm does”‘ “Nobody knows what a balm does”. I don’t think I can use a balm now because I can’t be sure exactly what will happen.

Men’s Waterproof Pleasure Smoke-Wand; What the hell, it smokes? That and it looks like a jack hammer. I don’t know if I were a dude if I’d like that near my p-spot. And how can you be sure it’s, “Waterproof”. Do you want to be the one who gets the faulty Smoke-Wand and is found in the bathtub with a pleasure wand up your bum? What would your mother say?


First Timer Vibrators; Hell to the no. This thing looks like, Hello Kitty. I do not want to put something near my lady business that looks like a childhood friend. It looks so innocent and cute. How could you look at it and then kill it in the face like that? You monsters.
So, now I’m in no better position than before but I sure have had fun. And I think I would like to name vibrators as a job. The crazier the name, the better it will sell. Enjoy your; “Bang A Dong, Get It On, Vibrator”. It’s, simply irresistible. That one is for the fans of the 80’s. 

I guess I could go with a dinner and a movie? It’s not as fun as my basket full of, “Discreetly packaged”, goodies. But, I should have a back up in case someone is not interested in anal ease or booty wipes. Ungrateful.  

{January 19, 2008}   Lazy ass

funny-picture-in-a-sec-cat.jpg   OMG, it’s a new year. Where have I been? Around! I finally got back into the swing of work and have even started picking up private clients on the pilates reformer. It’s going well but it’s cut into my me time. Wahhh, what about MEEEEEEEEE? I do love to be busy so it’s not a bad thing.I said at some point I was going to put up some video clips of my yoga. I still plan on that. I like to make mini clips while I think of ideas of different flows and they kind of organically change and go in different directions. I guess it’s the ole dancer in me. I try to choreograph things. Like when I pick up socks. It’s always much better if you add an attitude derriere with a nice pirouettes. That’s how you pick up a pair of socks with, FLAIR! At any rate, that’s my plan next week. Get on that yoga stuff. I’ve been a lazy ass in coming up with new stuff for my classes as well. I guess since it’s a new year I should try and do some fun new stuff so I’m always growing and moving forward, blah, blah, rolling stone, blah, keep on trucking. Plus, I am going to start a reading list and maybe some people can share some good books for me to read. Or maybe you can steal some of my ideas. Just finished,The way of the peaceful warrior, try it out. Lovely Bones (I know I’m really late on this one)Anatomy of movement Crap, that’s kind of it. That’s a sad little list.  I need to get on that.  Nothing from the Oprah book club. Anywhoooooo, yay for the new year and all the good stuff that will come our way. PS, I totally tried to do this in paragraphs and it keeps taking them out. I really know how to make them but my blog is screwing with me. It’s angry at me for some reason and I’m not sure why? Oh yeah, probably because I ignored it for like 3 months. I’m sorry blog, please forgive me. 

{November 28, 2007}   THE HORROR!


So on my decorating binge I also decided to put up my Christmas Lights. As I was pulling some out, something flew past my head. What is that? Was some snowman trying to make a run for it?

I turn around and it was a horrible mouse corpse. AHHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH.  It looked like it had become some kind of mouse mummy. I had to throw out all the lights it was on becuase of the smell. And there was this weird blobby/dusty object on a bag. Like it gave birth to a huge dusty fur ball.

Luckily none of my good decorations were in there. and of course I spent the rest of the day I spent dry heaving. That’s what you get for trying to touch my lights you furry little bastard. I should have made a tiny little chalk outline of his body as a lesson to all his bastard mouse friends.

{November 28, 2007}   Uggh


Here is my bathroom I repainted and my cabinets. Also a picture of my bedroom with new bedroom furniture. Sorry about my crappy phone camera. You can’t really see my fancy cabinets. It involved lots of sanding, staining, more sanding.

Long time, no bloggy. I was all busy with holidays and blah, blah, blah. I have been bitten by the diy bug. So far I’ve repainted my stairs, bathroom, bedroom, sons room

I also painted and antiqued my bathroom cabinets and a bookshelf. I blame, HGTV, for all of this. I watch those shows and then belive I too can do that.

I usually do pretty good but have had some tragedy’s. I’v lost a good dresser, several shelves, many unfinished wood items. I blame crackle paint for many of those. DAMN YOU CRACKLE PAINT.

I have relatives coming so I feel I should probably make the casa look halfway decent. I took some pics but my new phone takes crappy pictures. I’m sooooooooooooo going to have to get a new phone.

I’ve resisted the lure of the iphone but with the upcoming present givings I think I may succomb to the dastardly phone. I’m sure I will be hooked becuase that’s just the kind of consumer I am.

{November 2, 2007}   Friday, already?


Man, this week went by quickly. I was not all that excited with my, Blackberry. It was nice but it was too much phone for me. I just wanted something cute I can talk on and text. Also the occasional pic.

I traded in the crackberry for a, Samsun sync. I like it and love that it can also take video clips. The pitures are not as good at the, Blackberry Pearl. I even took one to prove it.

Pictures turn out pretty blurry. I do miss he keyboard of the, Pearl. It’s pretty nice and I got it in a cute red color. It’s what sealed the deal. I almost got a, razor. But then I thought, everyone has one of those.

The more I write about it the more I’m feeling, meh. We are getting another line and the family plan so there is a chance to get something even cooler. I’ll pass this one on to the fruit of the loins. That’s the greatness of being the mom.

I hope everyone is going to have some fun times this weekend. Have fun and don’t anybody wet their pants from too much fun.

{October 31, 2007}   Some fun pics of the big day

hospitalbed.jpg Before, a shot, weeee

, after.jpg After, ohhhh nice, morphine

Here are some fun pics of the day.  Even drugged up and woozy I like to entertain. These pics were right after the shot in my IV. And I’ll also post some after I finally woke up and realized I was on morphine. Good times.

{October 17, 2007}   I’M ALIVE, I’M ALIVE!!!!!!

Of course. Dead men tell no tales. So it goes a little something like this. Drop all the little people off to school. Husbo drives me to the hospital and really, not much waiting. I was prepared to wait mucho time. OMG there was a tv but I had to use my fingers to change the channel. What is this, a third world country. NO REMOTE. I’m having surgery people. That was my line for most of the day.

You expect me to make breakfast, I’m having surgery. You just never get to use that too much in life so I thought I would milk it for all it’s worth. The doctor comes in and chats with me. The husband person was out in the hall taking a work call. I’m having surgery here, take a message. Gahhhhhhhhh, do I have to die here to get some attention?

We discuss and finally my life partner comes back. Next up is the anesthesiologist. I’m sure I spelled that wrong but it’s too late for me to google. I’m tired, I’ve had surgery so cut me some slack. Oh, nice.  I have a new phrase, I like it.

He puts something in my iv and it’s all puppies and rainbows. What’s happening people, hoooollllaaa. So I decided to do a before picture. And once I get my bluetooth working I’ll up it to my mac and then will have to transfer it to this laptop. This stupid laptop has no bluetooth and not enough memory to download it directly from my, Blackberry. LAZY! You’ve had no surgery, what’s your deal?

Anyways, I decided that the best time to take my farewell uterus pictures is when I’m all drugged up. That’s what it must be like for Coutney and Britney. I now feel like I’ve walked a mile in their shoes so I can mock freely.

They kick the husband out and I’m pretty sure he got back on the phone as soon as he left. He has a, Treo. I hold it against him. And pretty much after that it’s all blackness. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I’ll take a pee break here and continue my tale.

Noooo, wait, I do remember being wheeled in to the surgery room and them telling me I had to shimmy to the operating table. WTF. I do remember my last words. “Wow, that table is pretty thin, what if my big butt falls off?” Fade to black. I’m pretty sure I was strapped in.

I wake up and the husband is not on a call but watching tv. awww no phone call, That’s true love people. I don’t remember much of our conversation but I did ask if this was my permanent room. Let me tell you, I had some bad gas. What’s with that. Did I mention the two enema’s I had to do before surgery? Surgery isn’t pretty. I’m just breaking it down for you.

I noticed an itch in the nether regions. I was completely bald. It was a drive by shaving and I was not prepared for it. I’m glad I was unconcious for that business. That’s a sucky job. Now I have to maintain that. Thanks a lot for that.  I’m going to get lazy and it will get itchy. Oh well.

I was on the demerol and was pretty itchy. I had one of those buttons to push. I was pushing every hour on the hour and sometimes twice. Did you know that drugs constipate you? It’s true. Constipated and gassy.

So I made it and as soon as I get my sexy before and after pictures, I will post. Oh yes, I got the after too. I have no shame. Weeeeeeeeeeee, I’m alive and free a uterus, ovary, and, tube.

The only thing is now I have no excuse for the pms and chocolate cravings. What else can I blame eating a tube of cookie dough on?

{October 10, 2007}   Favorite Past thing 93/94



PS, check out this site for some amazing free pictures. Don’t be a dork and forget to link them.


I completely forgot I was even doing this. I thought of all the thing from my past I loved so much. While listening to my Sansa, of course. I’m not ipod girl. I’ve have a few ipod tragedies so I switched to the Sansa mp3, 2 gig. I’m digressing here. I love this thing. It has radio, voice recording, video, music, and it cleans the dishes. All for less than an ipod. I use it with my yahoo music. I have the unlimited deal so I stock that sucker up with music for when I run or I hook it up to my stereo and listen to when I do my yoga.


No Yanni or Enya when I do my yoga’s. Lame inside joke alert. I like some Marley, Zepplin, Floyd, rap, hip hop. Whatever, I just like funky music when I flow. Since I will not be doing anything for awhile I did some today. One of the songs was, Mazzy Star, Fade Into You. That song is so fetch. I saw mean girls and it’s stuck in my head.


Anywhooooooooooo. It took me back to the days of listening to the Cranberries and dating this college guy who was kind of a wuss.There was some good music around at that time. Cowboy Junkie’s and the movie I remember most, The Crow. How hot was Brandon Lee, very. Coffee houses were still pretty trendy and unheard of. You could get a cup of latte as big as your head for less than you’d pay today. And you could hear various conversations on poetry, anarchy, alternative this, alternative that. Also, whoomp there it is and knockin da boots, was pretty big.


I miss some of the fun stuff but glad to be over those fashions. There was a lot of lip lining and catsuits were a hit. Oy.Here’s a clip of , Fade Into You.  It’s from you tube and it’s a mix of some old footage from Fred Astaire and Rita Hayworth dancing. Beautiful and enjoy.

{October 3, 2007}   Freezy Freaky’s


I loved mine and I wish I had a pair. Not that it would matter since it’s October here and nearly 100 outside. It’s so weird buying Halloween decorations and wearing shorts. That’s an exaggeration, I never wear shorts. I stopped wearing them when I hit 28, true story. I’m mostly in my yoga clothes. I digress.

I grew up around sleet and snow so I would run out, stick them in the snow and then, warm them up. It was a whole routine. This is my favorite nostalgic product of the week. I’m just full of them. But this week I pay homnmage to my old friend, Freezy Freaky’s. Wherever have you gone old mittens? Probably to the same place all my friendship beads and leg warmers went.

{October 3, 2007}   Fish hate us


 I saw this story on CNN, it made me chortle for some reason. I like to imagine they’re hanging out on the bottom of the lake planning their revenge.

Fred, you dare me to go up there and smack that stupid human in the head?

Do it Fred, DOOOOO IT!

ORLANDO, Fla., July. 29 (UPI) — Wildlife officials are struggling with a record pace of incidents involving jumping huge sturgeons hitting people in Florida. During the past 24 months alone, more than 12 incidents involving the leaping fish and humans have occurred between the Suwannee River and Manatee Springs with some resulting in injuries, WKMG-TV of Orlando, Fla., said Saturday. Sturgeons, which have been around for about 195 million years, are known jumpers that can grow eight feet long and weigh as much as 200 pounds. But why they are smacking into humans recently has regional wildlife experts and boaters puzzled. One sturgeon’s tough skin even caused one local personal watercraft rider to get stitches on her knee after the fish suddenly leaped in front of her. The TV station reported that wildlife experts have said the fish typically spawn in the Suwannee River and then migrate to the Gulf of Mexico late in the year.

It’s all fun and game till you get smacked in the head by a fish. Not good times.

{October 2, 2007}   Blackberry Pearl


Check me out, people. I have a Blackberry, I’m like the Queen of England up n here. I feel like I’ve just joined the year 2005. Welcome and I’m glad to be here. First things first, I love it. It’s so sleek and cute and has the ability to turn on the letter keys.

You have no idea how awesome this is for me. Normally it takes me 10 minutes to write, I can’t type, call me on the phone. But nobody calls anybody these days. It’s all that fancy text messaging. Now I’ll be able to type the previous sentence in only 5 minutes.

I’m also not a fast typist which has nothing to do with the keys and but everything to do with my slowness. The problem is that, I don’t know how to do anything on this amazing new phone. I plugged it in and it prompltly told me there wasn’t enough power or some crap.

Regardless, I have a crackberry and can now text and use the internet. And someday I’m going to figure out which key I hit to make that magic happen. Baby steps people, baby steps.

Update, after 2 calls to customer service, I’m in business. I can do it all now. The world is all at my fingertips for the low price of 49.99 with my, Blackberry Bundle. Awesomeness.

Gimmie More, is my ringtone, bitches. I’m too excited to be properly ashamed. DON’T JUDGE ME! I don’t care, judge me. But call me when you do it so I can listen to my new ringtone.

I’ve had the same one for a year with my old phone. I got some crappy unlocked on off of, Ebay. It was from another country and I couldn’t ever change the time or date on it. Plus I had to use a special adapter to charge it. Wath those Ebay phones people. Hooollla.

{October 1, 2007}   10 days, not like I’m counting


In 10 days I will be getting sliced open like a Thanksgiving Turkey. Actually, I will hopefully avoid that but after 2 c-sections it may be unavoidable. I just won’t know till I wake up. It will be like a surprise party minus the party part. I think I will have a party though later in my room with whatever narcotic they give me for the pain.

I’m starting to get a little anxious becuase although I know I will feel relief and drastically decreased my chances for uterine cancer, the unknown is a scary thing. I’m trying not to let the what if’s occupy my mind and if they start coming up I try not to let them take over. Positive thoughts people. It happens occasionally. 

A super nice student was telling me it took her almost 6 months to get her practice back. Kill me now. Positive, positive, breathe. I’m trying to make a mental list of all the great things I can do afterwards.

For instance, walking down the hallway and then back again to my bed. I kid. All the new show seasons will have started to I’m set there. I have a new Jefferey Deaver book, well, it’s new to me. I plan to also reread, The Peaceful Warrior. Check that book out, it’s life changing. I should write Oprah about it. Or have my own book club. At the moment that would just be me and if any other lost soul finds this, then you too. Hoollla.

I haven’t crocheted in awhile and I have a pattern and yarn so I’m going to try that. I’m a little rusty and last time I tried to make a scarf it ended up looking more like a tube sock. I think I made my stitches too tight.

I’m really exhausted overall. I teach a class, do some errands, a little laundry and I’m wiped out the rest of the day. That is just no way to live. I think 70 year olds have more pep than me. I know my 3 year old is. Thankfully he is in part time pre-k and that tires him out pretty good. He’s quick. I wish I could get that in liquid form and make an energy drink. It would kick Red Bulls ass. Sugar free of course. I only drink the sugar free.

Not that the Red Bull does anything for me at the moment. I guess it helps me get through the laundry which is something. When your used to juggling 20 things at once it’s hard to slow down and admit you need to sit on the sidelines for a bit. I’m a firm believer in being part of the process and just by your own sheer will, you can make things happen. I consider this an extension of a yoga class where I can not force and have to accept and be at peace with what is. It won’t be so forever and any situation is temporary, si?

I just wonder if I could hire say, Jake Gyllenhal to be my temporary man servant? He seems like he’d be really helpful in that way. I bet his mama brought him up right. Wooooo, almost time for yoga class, I need to red bull it up and make it a double. I have a feeling I’m going to be dragging my ass across the finish line this week. Hoooolllaaa.

{September 30, 2007}   A mind is a terrible thing to waste

poison1.jpgI was out last night with the girls. Eating out at some restraunt patio in Dallas. How very, Sex and the City, of us. The conversation veered here and there. At some point it found it’s way to two old movies, Can’t Buy Me Love and Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Classics and I still watch them anytime they come on.

The two things they have in common is both female lead caracters have long curly blonde hair. It took me back to the mid 80’s when I too wanted long blonde curly hair. But being dark skinned it was not a good look. I did manage to get the hair.

Wash, gel, dry, scrunch, dry, scrunch, spray. That process did not include the bangs. The bangs were; wash, curl, tease, and, spray. And then for good measure a final spraying all over the head to make sure not even a hurricane could move it.

Back in the day I also smoked morlboro lights. I chose lights to avoid the extra calories of the morlboro reds. Don’t laugh at me, I was way too young to even be smoking, how was I supposed to know that crap? Anytime I wanted to light up I’d have to try and keep the flame as far from my hair as possible.

I wasted at least an hour of my minds time pondering all of this. Good times, good times.

et cetera