Christinas4’s Weblog











{February 21, 2008}   FEATURED, ME?!

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  I logged on and thought I had just come to my front page. But, alas, I was featured. FEATURED! I’m not sure exactly what I was featured for but I hope it wasn’t for the biggest dummy award. 

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I’m also assuming there is no check since I’ve not seen one in my mailbox. Of course it wouldn’t be that unusual. Let me tell you about my postal lady. She likes her cigarettes and sometimes if she doesn’t feel much like it, she will not put the packages on my door. She just leaves the yellow, “We missed you”, card in my box. I just say, “You put my mail in and drove away.” I complained once but I could tell they probably were laughing at me once I left.

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 I’m just telling you guys, I do not have a long drive way or anything like that. It’s totally doable. Now I need to wait a day to pic up whatever crappy junk I won from ebay. GAAHHHH! That’s for my mail lady and for ebay always sucking me in.I can’t even tell you the amount of things I’ve gotten in the mail and thought, it looked way bigger in the picture.

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 Plus they always kill you on the shipping. I get the packaging and all that business. But 25 bucks for shipping a pair of jeans? Bite me.  I get so excited at the thought of buying some Rock and Republic jeans for 60 bucks, I miss the 40 dollar shipping price. I completely went somewhere else in my head there. I digress

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. Back to something. Before my postal lady rant? MY AWARD! You just have no idea how exciting it is to me. It’s almost as awesome as that, “Commie™”, I won this week. You know what I’m talking about, Hags.  I never win anything. I know people say that all the time. But I really never win anything. There was that one time I won some raffle at the school dance. It was just a free pizza at Dominos. And I didn’t deserve it because someone just handed me the ticket. I was unworthy of my pepperoni pizza, but I still ate it.

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 I don’t even win at bingo. And to those in charge of featuring random blogs, thank you so much. I will be sure to keep up the randomness that occupies my medulla oblongata. I think you will find I’m full of it. 

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PS, why does my stupid mac not allow me to make paragraph’s? It’s really irking me but I know not the ways of the mac.  



{February 8, 2008}   It’s coming

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Valentines is upon us and what to get your loved one? Hmmm, ponder and ponder carefully. What does a reformed slutty girl get her computer/gadget loving husband? Another item that has to be synced or recharged? Hmm, that doesn’t sount too bad. Just looking around on some sites I found a few things that caught my eye. And a few things that made me laugh. To name a few.
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Ultra Tech 3000, Bargain Beaver Vibrator; Do you really want to skimp when it comes to the big, O? And the caveat really made me chortle, “please note that any “bargain-style” product will almost always be constructed from moderate-quality components. Oh my, where exactly are they getting these moderate quality components? I hope they don’t contain any lead.

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Karma Sutra Pleasure Balm; It reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld. “Who told you to use a balm?, Do you know what a balm does”‘ “Nobody knows what a balm does”. I don’t think I can use a balm now because I can’t be sure exactly what will happen.

Men’s Waterproof Pleasure Smoke-Wand; What the hell, it smokes? That and it looks like a jack hammer. I don’t know if I were a dude if I’d like that near my p-spot. And how can you be sure it’s, “Waterproof”. Do you want to be the one who gets the faulty Smoke-Wand and is found in the bathtub with a pleasure wand up your bum? What would your mother say?

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First Timer Vibrators; Hell to the no. This thing looks like, Hello Kitty. I do not want to put something near my lady business that looks like a childhood friend. It looks so innocent and cute. How could you look at it and then kill it in the face like that? You monsters.
So, now I’m in no better position than before but I sure have had fun. And I think I would like to name vibrators as a job. The crazier the name, the better it will sell. Enjoy your; “Bang A Dong, Get It On, Vibrator”. It’s, simply irresistible. That one is for the fans of the 80’s. 

I guess I could go with a dinner and a movie? It’s not as fun as my basket full of, “Discreetly packaged”, goodies. But, I should have a back up in case someone is not interested in anal ease or booty wipes. Ungrateful.  



et cetera