I’m just being over dramatical. Tomorrow is the big day and my noggin is swirling with many emotions. Fear, anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, relief, etc. It’s what I call my, Coalition of Emotions.

The fun stuff. I have to do an enema tonight and one early morning. Yikes, so not looking forward to that. I have no idea how long till I’m able to log on but knowing me it won’t be too long.

I will have much time in my day to blog about nothing in particular. Maybe even a few, pain pill, induced writings. How fun will that be. Sooooooo, this is it people. Well, not really for anoter 16 hours. Soon enough, soon enough. I bid you a fond farewell and leave you this portrait of me trying to rock the side ponytail.

I hate when I take a yoga class and the pony tail stabs you in the head. I’m trying it on the side these days. My final words I got off a bathroom wall.

For a good time call, just kidding.

Do something once a day that scares you.  I totally got that fron a store I shop at way too much. But try it anyways. I’ll see you nutjobs on the flips side. Plus, I may make a ANTM post before I check in for the night.

PS, I remodeled my kitchen and it is not longer that horrid blue. I was in some weird country phase. I’ve been cured of that.

burger-king.jpg

I’m going with this Burger King picture becuase I find it so disturbing.

Overall the new tv season is, meh. I’m not overly impressed with you, tv. There are a couple of shows that I like, Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, Carpool. But overall I’m still more interested in my old favorites.

The Office, Earl, Heroes, Ugly Betty, ANTM, The Daily Show. I was worried about, Betty. Luckily the story has picked back up and I’m interested again.

On Heroes I’m happy to see my boyfriend Milo Vilmontoyamontalban, I can never spell his name, is still alive and hot. I like that Claire has a flying boyfriend. Who didn’t have that fantasy in high school, Maybe just me then. Plus I also love the twish with Hiro falling in love and conflicted. What to do? Give up love and keep history intact or, pursue his love and possibly screw with the world? What will he do?

And I am always happy to see Steven employed. I know he is no long on Dynasty but I don’t care, He’s always Steven Carrington to me. The other Steven doesn’t exist to me. He is the lesser Steven Carrington, Live with it faux Steven.

Tonight is my favorite of alllllllllll, ANTM, episodes. The much ballyhooed (shout out to my hag, BBB) makeover show. How awesome is that. The least like is going to get the, Mia Farrow. hahahaha. Cry models, cry. Your hair may look crappe (my french pronunciation of crappy) but don’t ever lose the fierce. That’s, FIERCE!, exclamation point intended.

What I’m really anxious for is the return of, Lost. It’s the make or break season for us. I was almost out last year but they sucked me back in near the end. I love the bittersweet ending of going back and forth in time like that. You think being rescued would be the greatest thing ever but in fact it might be the undoing of some of the castaways. Wait, is castaway just for the shipwrecked ala Gilligan or could it also apply to plane crashes?

Either way, I’m excited to see what happens. Don’t toy with my emotions writers of Lost. I swear I will flip the channel and never flip back. I’m not even joking. ER and Grey’s are totally dead to me. Is ER still on? Damn, put that show out of it’s misery all ready.

I have a feeling many of the new shows will not be around in the next 3 weeks. See you later, Caveman, we hardly knew ye. But bonus, Rock of Love 2 is in the works. I guess Bret and Heather aren’t going to make a go of it. Shame, that hair was built to last.

Come on, that was the worst fake break up ever. Where was the drama ala, New York? It was just boring. Jess was all, You should be with Heather. And they just left you hanging.

He even tells Heater, before Jess comes up, he would like to continue their friendship as well as a sexual relationship. Well, he is a rock dude. They don’t have the best reputation when it comes to monogomy. Jess was just bored. It looked like she couldn’t wait to get out of there. She was only on for 4 minutes.

Lacey had more camera time than, Jess. Speaking of Lacey. She played us the most beautiful song ever, along with her band. It was a touching song titled, Shallow. Oh, and the dancing, The best interpretive dancing I’ve ever seen. I haven’t seen that kind of crawling on the floor since Madonna at the first ever, MTV Awards.

The sounds that came out of her mouth were similar to a cat in heat. So sexy and not at all like her usual manipulative, calculating, self. She must have slept with Rikki Rachman (however you spell it) to get on that stage.

Where has that guy been? I did notice they still have Headbanger’s Ball, on one of the MTV’s. There are like 5 of those now. How many of them play music? Gahhhhhhhh, someone play some music videos.

Overall it was snoooooring. There weren’t really any good confrontations. They really need to work on the drama. Please watch, Flava of Love, to see how it’s done right. I also recorded, The Smartest Model in America. I have yet to watch this sexy show. I need to make sure I watch it on an empty stomach or I may feel too fat to watch.

PS, how beautiful is Brets wig? Heather and Bret should be together. They can have hair braidng parties. Or maybe, hair teasing, parties. Either way, there is going to be a lot of hair products and lubes flying around.

I have this whole mental thing I do where I try to visualize my class and hopefully when I get up in front of everyone, I make it happen. Sizzle, sparkle, pizazz. I’m not sure I bring the pizazz every week but I’m pretty sure I always sparkle. I try. With the kids being sick this week I’m overtired and not sleeping very much. I’m not sure I can bring any of the above things. I may just be bringing, snap, crackle, and, pop.

Of course the day I need extra help I am out of my, Rockstar. Diet, of course. Wait, if I get off my behind this very second, I could get some. People, you just witnessed a light bulb moment. That’s what Oprah calls them. I do not question the greatness that is, Oprah. I feel a little bit of sizzle happening. I just need my theme song for the week. Gimmie more! Let’s go, Britney, it’s time to shine.

I found this artist a few weeks ago and she is amazing. Every song is absolutely amazing. I know awhile back everyone was talking about, Corinne Bailey Rae, who I love. But I really love this album more. Is it, album? I’m old, what are the kids calling it these days? MP3’s? Here is a link to her video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCeS-yorGtc&mode=related&search=

Sweet fancy moses, my kids have the chicken pox. WTF? I vacinated their germy little bodies. Apparently you can still get it but it’s not as severe. I remember back in the stone age when I had it all over my body and in some of my nether regions. Not pretty.

Actually only 3 out of 4, have it. To top it off, they will be home most of next week, My surgery is next week. Oh help me, Jesus. How restful 3 screaming kids will be. Help me out hydrocodone. I don’t know if that will be enough. I may need to call on his friend, oxycotin. Maybe just a nice swing to the head with a bat. Just make sure I’m unconcious.

They all look fine other than a few red splotches. That is good to note. However if any of them infect me, it’s farging war. I am not cancelling this surgery. I’ve mentally prepared myself for it and I am ready to go. Put me on the table and cut me open aleady.

And tell me how much you love my chicken picture. He’s completely naked and hilarious. What happened to his feathers? Was he robbed? I don’t know but I LOVE IT. You are one hot chicken. Yes, I know it’s a rooster but there were no pictures of any chickens this lovely. Papa don’t preach, I’m keeping my rooster.

I loved mine and I wish I had a pair. Not that it would matter since it’s October here and nearly 100 outside. It’s so weird buying Halloween decorations and wearing shorts. That’s an exaggeration, I never wear shorts. I stopped wearing them when I hit 28, true story. I’m mostly in my yoga clothes. I digress.

I grew up around sleet and snow so I would run out, stick them in the snow and then, warm them up. It was a whole routine. This is my favorite nostalgic product of the week. I’m just full of them. But this week I pay homnmage to my old friend, Freezy Freaky’s. Wherever have you gone old mittens? Probably to the same place all my friendship beads and leg warmers went.

 I saw this story on CNN, it made me chortle for some reason. I like to imagine they’re hanging out on the bottom of the lake planning their revenge.

Fred, you dare me to go up there and smack that stupid human in the head?

Do it Fred, DOOOOO IT!

ORLANDO, Fla., July. 29 (UPI) — Wildlife officials are struggling with a record pace of incidents involving jumping huge sturgeons hitting people in Florida. During the past 24 months alone, more than 12 incidents involving the leaping fish and humans have occurred between the Suwannee River and Manatee Springs with some resulting in injuries, WKMG-TV of Orlando, Fla., said Saturday. Sturgeons, which have been around for about 195 million years, are known jumpers that can grow eight feet long and weigh as much as 200 pounds. But why they are smacking into humans recently has regional wildlife experts and boaters puzzled. One sturgeon’s tough skin even caused one local personal watercraft rider to get stitches on her knee after the fish suddenly leaped in front of her. The TV station reported that wildlife experts have said the fish typically spawn in the Suwannee River and then migrate to the Gulf of Mexico late in the year.

It’s all fun and game till you get smacked in the head by a fish. Not good times.

Check me out, people. I have a Blackberry, I’m like the Queen of England up n here. I feel like I’ve just joined the year 2005. Welcome and I’m glad to be here. First things first, I love it. It’s so sleek and cute and has the ability to turn on the letter keys.

You have no idea how awesome this is for me. Normally it takes me 10 minutes to write, I can’t type, call me on the phone. But nobody calls anybody these days. It’s all that fancy text messaging. Now I’ll be able to type the previous sentence in only 5 minutes.

I’m also not a fast typist which has nothing to do with the keys and but everything to do with my slowness. The problem is that, I don’t know how to do anything on this amazing new phone. I plugged it in and it prompltly told me there wasn’t enough power or some crap.

Regardless, I have a crackberry and can now text and use the internet. And someday I’m going to figure out which key I hit to make that magic happen. Baby steps people, baby steps.

Update, after 2 calls to customer service, I’m in business. I can do it all now. The world is all at my fingertips for the low price of 49.99 with my, Blackberry Bundle. Awesomeness.

Gimmie More, is my ringtone, bitches. I’m too excited to be properly ashamed. DON’T JUDGE ME! I don’t care, judge me. But call me when you do it so I can listen to my new ringtone.

I’ve had the same one for a year with my old phone. I got some crappy unlocked on off of, Ebay. It was from another country and I couldn’t ever change the time or date on it. Plus I had to use a special adapter to charge it. Wath those Ebay phones people. Hooollla.

In 10 days I will be getting sliced open like a Thanksgiving Turkey. Actually, I will hopefully avoid that but after 2 c-sections it may be unavoidable. I just won’t know till I wake up. It will be like a surprise party minus the party part. I think I will have a party though later in my room with whatever narcotic they give me for the pain.

I’m starting to get a little anxious becuase although I know I will feel relief and drastically decreased my chances for uterine cancer, the unknown is a scary thing. I’m trying not to let the what if’s occupy my mind and if they start coming up I try not to let them take over. Positive thoughts people. It happens occasionally. 

A super nice student was telling me it took her almost 6 months to get her practice back. Kill me now. Positive, positive, breathe. I’m trying to make a mental list of all the great things I can do afterwards.

For instance, walking down the hallway and then back again to my bed. I kid. All the new show seasons will have started to I’m set there. I have a new Jefferey Deaver book, well, it’s new to me. I plan to also reread, The Peaceful Warrior. Check that book out, it’s life changing. I should write Oprah about it. Or have my own book club. At the moment that would just be me and if any other lost soul finds this, then you too. Hoollla.

I haven’t crocheted in awhile and I have a pattern and yarn so I’m going to try that. I’m a little rusty and last time I tried to make a scarf it ended up looking more like a tube sock. I think I made my stitches too tight.

I’m really exhausted overall. I teach a class, do some errands, a little laundry and I’m wiped out the rest of the day. That is just no way to live. I think 70 year olds have more pep than me. I know my 3 year old is. Thankfully he is in part time pre-k and that tires him out pretty good. He’s quick. I wish I could get that in liquid form and make an energy drink. It would kick Red Bulls ass. Sugar free of course. I only drink the sugar free.

Not that the Red Bull does anything for me at the moment. I guess it helps me get through the laundry which is something. When your used to juggling 20 things at once it’s hard to slow down and admit you need to sit on the sidelines for a bit. I’m a firm believer in being part of the process and just by your own sheer will, you can make things happen. I consider this an extension of a yoga class where I can not force and have to accept and be at peace with what is. It won’t be so forever and any situation is temporary, si?

I just wonder if I could hire say, Jake Gyllenhal to be my temporary man servant? He seems like he’d be really helpful in that way. I bet his mama brought him up right. Wooooo, almost time for yoga class, I need to red bull it up and make it a double. I have a feeling I’m going to be dragging my ass across the finish line this week. Hoooolllaaa.

TV is so evil. Desperate Housewives and Rock of Love, same night. Luckily I have the dvr so I taped those and rewatched, AMNT. The best part of that show was, Noted Photographer Nigel Barker.

Does anybody else ever forget they have their show taped and actually sits through a few commercial breaks? I was watching a commercial thinking how much I hated that one. I’m glad nobody was there to see my, duh moment.  D’oh, I just told the world. Damn me.

Heather is one hard biatch. She looks like she could knife someone. She practically let Bret die from insulin shock. TAKE THE BANDANA OFF, BRET. I loved Heather trying to defend her stripper dress by calling it a sundress.

I had a friend who was just like her. OMG, that hussy got us kicked out of the Denny’s. Anytime I’ve ever been in trouble where there were cops involved, that nut was there. She scared small children in lines by making evil faces at them. But she always had the best scoops on the parties. You can’t hate that girl. I like crazy Heather but I think she’s hiding an adams apple.

Brets got some really crazy Mili Vanili thing happening with his braids. And then these two head up to his room for, as  Heather puts it, sexy alone time. I need to hit the head after watching them kiss.

Heathers got to go back and rub it in Jess’ face. Jess’ is a bit stuck up but I like her too. I like them both. Off she goes in her “sundress”.  Heathers all nasty and talking about her, scent. It reminds me of that one scene in, Silence of the Lambs. You know.

So now Jess and Bret are off on a yact ride. But not before Heather lets Jess know that anytime Bret kisses her she’ll be tasting Heather. Ack, I bet she tastes like ashtray and testes.

Bret is getting too old for this crap. He practically dies on this date as well. Rest up grandpa. Poor guy, I feel bad for him. They have some tender moments. Jab that shot in his ass, Jess. And now they hit the jacuzzi and we see some pixilated ass. Hot tubs really gross me out. They are just a sexcesspool of dna and amoeba’s. Ewwww.

And now we get treated to some original Bret Michaels tuneage. I think it’s original, I’m not familiar with his beautiful catalogue of music. He bids Big John farewell to get on his rock bling and make a choice. Oh, and get on his bandana. WHAT’S UNDER THERE?

Heather is rocking some pretty sweet rock girlfriend hair. How can he say no to that hair? I bet he’s jealous of her hair. I reminds me of something, oh yes, wash, gel, dry, scrunch, spray, scrunch. In my heart I think he’s going for Heather and her porn hair.

Do you think he has sex with that bandana on? It’s like Who shot Jr? What’s under the bandana? He chooses Jess for almost plunging the needle in his ass. But not before he asks them both to be his rock girlfriends. Heather is down with the OPP. Jess stands strong, I hear you sistah she’s fun but she’s got the cooties.

But, OMG, she has the greatest exit, EVER. Watch your backs, she’s going to boil some bunnies. She will not be ignored. LOVE HER. More kissing. How long till they break up? Now Heather has to live with that, Bret, tatoo. ahahahahahah, hilarious. She should change it to, Britney.

I was out last night with the girls. Eating out at some restraunt patio in Dallas. How very, Sex and the City, of us. The conversation veered here and there. At some point it found it’s way to two old movies, Can’t Buy Me Love and Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Classics and I still watch them anytime they come on.

The two things they have in common is both female lead caracters have long curly blonde hair. It took me back to the mid 80’s when I too wanted long blonde curly hair. But being dark skinned it was not a good look. I did manage to get the hair.

Wash, gel, dry, scrunch, dry, scrunch, spray. That process did not include the bangs. The bangs were; wash, curl, tease, and, spray. And then for good measure a final spraying all over the head to make sure not even a hurricane could move it.

Back in the day I also smoked morlboro lights. I chose lights to avoid the extra calories of the morlboro reds. Don’t laugh at me, I was way too young to even be smoking, how was I supposed to know that crap? Anytime I wanted to light up I’d have to try and keep the flame as far from my hair as possible.

I wasted at least an hour of my minds time pondering all of this. Good times, good times.

I’m not sure why I used an exclamation but I did. It’s not just yoga, snore, it’s YOGA!

So, I will be undergoing some surgery soon and I fear it will change my practice and I may never get back to where I am now. It’s been something I’ve done for the last 7 years and I get so much joy from practicing.

I know it is not about feeding my ego but there is something so free’ing about balancing on your head or doing an amazing arm balance. It’s like being free of physics and getting as close to flight as is humanly possible. It’s about forgetting to be a mature adult (if I was one) and just enjoying to pleasure of moving the body.

Like when you were a little kid and would just do a headstand for no other reason than you just felt like it. I also know I will not be able to do any kind of abdominals for 2 months. And it will be like starting over. Things will be different in the area of my nether regions. Will I be able to make it work again?

I will say that it’s making me stop and appreciate how lucky I am to do whatever it is I do. I took my favorite dance class last night and it occured to me that after next week I will not be able to take class for two months or so. Everyone keeps telling me I’ll be fine and back to normal in no time. I hope these are true statements and I will be back to my old self soon.

Ok, not old how about new renovated, self. I’m currently making lists of things I need for recovery and what I can do on my time off. On a purely selfish note I had a thought. I was lucky enough to get my classes covered.

Believe me that this is not an easy thing to do. Two months of classes completely covered. But then I had the thought that maybe my students would like the subs better and wouldn’t be too excited for me to come back. The HORROR!

I hope in the future I can figure out how to load video clips so I can put up some things I’m working on for classes. We’ll see. I am not what you call, savvy, in the techno area.

So that’s that. This blogging thing is kind of addicting. Hooolllaa

I’m sitting watching yet another tv show premiere. Las Vegas, nothing else is on. I overall am a little dissapointed in the premiere’s thus far. I know I shouldn’t expect much since they are setting up the upcoming storylines.

I wasn’t to excited how the cliffhangers were solved. Hero’s is going to have to give me a better explanation on how my boyfriend and his brother didn’t incinerate after exploding. I know he’s got regenerating powers and all that jazz (fosse fingers), but what the hell happened?

I’m going to give it a few weeks and see what’s up. Over on Grey’s, snoooooooooooooooooooooooring. I’m done, Grey’s is dead to me now. That’s fine, it just means more time for the Office and extra space on my dvr recorder.

Ugly Betty, I liked it but wasn’t wow’ed. I’m sure they are sad and can’t sleep over this. I found Hilda’s scenes sad and I am not ashamed to say I almost shed a tear or two. Don’t judge me. I didn’t actually cry. I’m going to hang in there and see how the season unfolds

I loved that Amanda’s ass got chunky. She’s got what Britney Spears has..She still looks in the mirror and still see’s, skinny. I wonder how long she’ll keep the fat suit on?

I soooooooooooooo loved CSI, Miami and I’m a sucker for all the CSI’s. I just love Miami the most becuase I can’t stop doing my David Caruso imitation. How fun is that? You know you do it too.

I thought the CSI, NY was ok. I’m not sure I’ll watch that one too much and I’m so mad at myself for missing the original CSI. DANG IT, what happened?

I have this problem that I mean to set my dvr to record and then forget to do it and end up watching it on my laptop. It’s just not as awesome on the small screen.

AMNTM. FIERCE! I know a lot of people hate this show but I for one, LOOOVE IT. Most notebly for, noted fashion photoger, Nigel Barker. And what was with Miss J’s hair? Come on sexy, I expect better from you.

And when did Old Navy become high fashion? That must mean my close are coture, bitches. Anyways that’s about all I had a chance to watch this week. I’m going to try and hang with, Desperate Houswives for a bit longer. I’m almost out of there after last season. This is also the last chance for Lost to prove itself to me. Don’t make me hate you, Lost.

Wow! First blog ever. I thought I’d try this whole blogging thing. I was feeling way too old over on, My Space. Right off the bat you should know that I love comma’s. I’m not the best at puncuation, grammar, spelling, all that stuff most people like to poke fun at. I also hate backspacing so I just move on.

I’m al about living in the future people. I’m only doing this becuase I find myself in a crazy predicament and one of those many forks in the road. I’ve been doing the whole  mom thing and chugging along when out of nowhere my body decided to crap out on me.

 I will be having a hysterectomy in a little less than 2 short weeks. I’m anxious and terrified. But I’m also unhappy and know I do not want to keep on this path hoping things will get better when I know they will not.

 Well, not on their own anyways. Plus there’s this whole thing of pondering life and all the randomness. You know, blah, blah, blah. Perhaps writing it out will make things more clear. If not, at least someone can enjoy mocking my bad puncuation.