Here is a picture of soup. And another recreating me calling her to beg for her recipe.

 

My grandmother has this habit of not sharing her recipes. It took me nearly a year to figure out her sofrito. Which tastes so yummy over rice with some carne. Ay yi yi. But I’m still trying to figure you her chicken soup. It’s more like a stew then a soup and has a whole chicken cut up, squash, no carrots or celery, and other stuff. But you also pour it over rice and it’s ddddddd lish. I think it’s something along the lines of Asopao de Pollo.

 But anytime I try to get it out of her she always gives me. “Ohh, quina, I put in a little of this and a little of that”. My grandparents always call me Quina. I have no idea what it means. 

Anywhoooooozzle, I’m finding similar recipes but not quite what I’m looking for. I’m sure there is a sofrito base in there as with many Puerto Rican recipes. There were probably some bouillan cubes as well. I’m telling you that not even the CIA could pry her recipes away from her. 

Let me tell you a little something about my grandmother. She was schooled at a convent and is super old school. She has a whistle she takes with her on walks in case she ever runs into, and I quote, “Dat man a cheee a wchaant to rchape me.” She’s Rican so she rolls the r’s a lot. And when she curses it’s hard to make out what she’s saying. Ju stooped house. I’ve decided that means you’re a stupid ass. And she likes the wine. So I’m going to say there was wine in that recipe. More in her glass than in the pot but it’s probably in there. 

I’ve been finding similar recipes and trying to change them up. Nothing is close. I just want some stinking Rican chicken stew so I can pour it over my rice and enjoy with some plantanos fritos. What’s a girl gotta do to get a recipe?

 

I’m now one of those people who talk about their pet. But look at that, it’s so cuuuuute. Nacho has taken himself a lady friend and the fact they are from two different worlds matters to him not. Sure she’s full of fluff and doesn’t return his affections. He still loves her, or him. I’m not sure yet but if he see’s her lying around he mounts her and tries to give her his man love. I’m not sure if she enjoys it or is just humoring him. 

I’m really proud that even though he’s small in stature and his girlfriend is much bigger than himself. He’s man enough to not let it bruise his ego. He’s still too small for being fixed but as soon as he’s old enough, snip snip. He already thinks our shoes are his foe and attacks at his leisure. I don’t also need him to try and make love to my feet. No way that guy could work a whole leg without falling off. He just can’t help it. He’s half chihuahua and his latin lover side just takes over.

There’s my Nachos Grande story for the day. Keep on humping Nacho.

 

 

I’ve aquired two new additions to the family. I’m working on getting the picture of one of them. She’s just too fast for my camera. Luckily the other one is too slow. Announcing Mr. Nachos Grande. He’s one full pound of love and friskiness. I saw an ad for him and couldn’t resist his cuteness. 

Originally his name was Mr. Justin Timberlake. But a few family members thought it was emasculating enough that he looked like a girl dog without humiliating him more. Gahhhh. So after more consideration we’ve named him Nachos Grande.

His favorite things are; Fighting with shoes, waking me up at 4 am, running around in circles till he falls, and my favorite, pretending to lick your face and then trying to eat it off. He’s the Hannibal Lechter of puppies. He’s small but he’s scrappy. 

 

I have a new phone since my other one is just not performing up to my standards. And yes, this is like my fourth this year. I’m hard to please so be aware, Blackjack 2. Don’t disappoint or you’ll be like the rest of my phones. I thought about getting a different Blackberry but found out you need to have a separate texting plan. Something about having their own server. I smell conspiracy. So that was a no to me. I will not be ripped off, damnit. I settled on Blackjack 2 even though I wanted an Iphone. But I was afraid since like most other Apple products, they don’t play well with other programs. I have a mac but every other computer in our home has Windows XP. Yes, I said other. Like 6 total.Don’t even ask. But if you ever feel like checking emails while you’re in your, “office”. We also have wireless. Just don’t tell me about it afterwards. Keep that information to yourself.It’s a pretty sexy phone and I have yet to figure it all out. It looks pretty dummy proof so far. But Samsung has not met this dummy yet and I’m sure I’ll get confused. Everything seems pretty easy to find and it’s so shiny and has a wheel. The pics are pretty good but it’s still a camera phone. 

 

Either way, here is a picture of Christian Bale. He has nothing to do with my phone but it makes me happy. 

You know what’s great about those things? You can capture your random moments and share them with others. Weather or not they care to see them. So I am going to share a few random moments of my life with you in picture form. 

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I don’t know why I found this interesting. It’s an energy drink called, Old Glory. And for those of you who want the most hyperactivity for you bucks. This tasty drink is only .99. I have no idea if it is really tasty or not as I am too scared to try it.

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I also wonder if anybody else has come across Old Glory in their super caffeinated drink isle? Sorry, Ol Glory. I added a d so that’s my bad. I would like to think this is the type of drink our forefathers would be proud to drink if they could time travel. It does our flag proud. I toast to you, Ol Glory. I will be toasting you with my sugar free Rockstar, unless you also come in sugar free?

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 This one I like to call, Zombie. I was out of town for work and was thinking the bathroom lighting was especially harsh. But then the bedroom lighting was pretty dim. I had no idea where to apply my make up. I could either end up looking like a clown hooker or a zombie. I chose wrong becuase I ended up looking like a zombie and what’s so wrong with clown hookers?

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Apparently headbanging is timeless. Rock you like a hurricane came on and 2 of the 4 went nuts. My son asked me if I’ve ever heard of this song because it was on Guitar Hero 3. Yes, yes, my child, I have heard of this song.

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He then said, “Ohhhh, I didn’t know it was from your time”. I shared with him how back in my times we didn’t have any fancy mp3 players. We had cassette tapes and after a few weeks your cassette player would eat it and you’d be screwed out of 12.99. Now how will you listen to Bon Jovi? At least it was better than having to put pennies on your record player needle.  

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The littlest of the 4. He’s striking quite a fierce pose. I guess I need to work on my lighting technique. And you can’t tell but he’s also got quite the little karate kick. He’s had no formal training. He’s completely self taught. True story. You should see my shins.

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 That’s the kind of coffee break I’m talking about. I don’t have the kind of job you take coffee breaks. But don’t we all need coffee breaks in this crazy journey we call life? And with only 14% alcohol, you can still walk a straight line and close that big business deal.

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 So pretty much, nothing that exciting but it seemed exciting at the time, hmm. could it be I’m not as exciting as I think I am? Noooooooooo. Surely you jest. 

I love, love, love, Halloween. It’s not just the candy either. I also love the really bad movies. And the good one’s. Exorcist always comes on and I remember the time in Georgetown we walked down the stairs from exorcist and we were pretty wasted and ended up crawling near the end. That and I think I might have been crying near the end becuase it was so scary.

Good thing they are right next to a bar. My friend kept saying, don’t trip and fall or you’ll die. No wonder I was crying she’s so mean. She also would make faces at small children in checkout lines.  I watched her make a few kids cry. It’s fine. She got arrested for hitting a car and trying to outrun the cops. Good times. But she’s not the same friend that got us kicked out of Denny’s for being drunk and disorderly. Remind me to tell you that tale of fun and intrigue.

The stairs are still there and for people who are into fitness they are really good to run up. They are near, M street. Or at least around there. It’s been a really long time since I’ve seen them. If I ever get back there I’ll try running them. Back then my only exercise came from the occasional beer crawl.

So the time has come to get back into the swing of things. Today is officially two weeks from my sugery. I was getting sliced open like a turkey this time two weeks ago. Fun stuff.

I’m feeling really good and have been walking for short periods 2 to 3 times per day. I’m starting to feel like a load of caca. I used to do 2 to 3 classes a day and now I’m walking for about 10 minutes a day. Snooooooring.

I’m cleared to walk so I hit the treadmill before I start outgrowing my pants. I’m at the point where I’m feeling much better but since I still can’t do a lot of things I used to, I’m eating when I don’t need to. And while I’m not in danger of falling off the cliff, I’m walking towards the edge.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I made it 2 1/2 miles and over 200 calories. Yay for me. Now I just have to remember not to shove food in my cakehole when I get bored. I’m still working on the first book on my reading list. I still have two weeks before I go back to work so I should get on that.

Tomorrow I will try dun dun duh……..some yoga. I still can’t twist becuase of my incision but I can still do some standing and seated poses. Let’s all hope I don’t pull, rip, or, loosen, something.

I’m just being over dramatical. Tomorrow is the big day and my noggin is swirling with many emotions. Fear, anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, relief, etc. It’s what I call my, Coalition of Emotions.

The fun stuff. I have to do an enema tonight and one early morning. Yikes, so not looking forward to that. I have no idea how long till I’m able to log on but knowing me it won’t be too long.

I will have much time in my day to blog about nothing in particular. Maybe even a few, pain pill, induced writings. How fun will that be. Sooooooo, this is it people. Well, not really for anoter 16 hours. Soon enough, soon enough. I bid you a fond farewell and leave you this portrait of me trying to rock the side ponytail.

I hate when I take a yoga class and the pony tail stabs you in the head. I’m trying it on the side these days. My final words I got off a bathroom wall.

For a good time call, just kidding.

Do something once a day that scares you.  I totally got that fron a store I shop at way too much. But try it anyways. I’ll see you nutjobs on the flips side. Plus, I may make a ANTM post before I check in for the night.

PS, I remodeled my kitchen and it is not longer that horrid blue. I was in some weird country phase. I’ve been cured of that.

burger-king.jpg

I’m going with this Burger King picture becuase I find it so disturbing.

Overall the new tv season is, meh. I’m not overly impressed with you, tv. There are a couple of shows that I like, Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, Carpool. But overall I’m still more interested in my old favorites.

The Office, Earl, Heroes, Ugly Betty, ANTM, The Daily Show. I was worried about, Betty. Luckily the story has picked back up and I’m interested again.

On Heroes I’m happy to see my boyfriend Milo Vilmontoyamontalban, I can never spell his name, is still alive and hot. I like that Claire has a flying boyfriend. Who didn’t have that fantasy in high school, Maybe just me then. Plus I also love the twish with Hiro falling in love and conflicted. What to do? Give up love and keep history intact or, pursue his love and possibly screw with the world? What will he do?

And I am always happy to see Steven employed. I know he is no long on Dynasty but I don’t care, He’s always Steven Carrington to me. The other Steven doesn’t exist to me. He is the lesser Steven Carrington, Live with it faux Steven.

Tonight is my favorite of alllllllllll, ANTM, episodes. The much ballyhooed (shout out to my hag, BBB) makeover show. How awesome is that. The least like is going to get the, Mia Farrow. hahahaha. Cry models, cry. Your hair may look crappe (my french pronunciation of crappy) but don’t ever lose the fierce. That’s, FIERCE!, exclamation point intended.

What I’m really anxious for is the return of, Lost. It’s the make or break season for us. I was almost out last year but they sucked me back in near the end. I love the bittersweet ending of going back and forth in time like that. You think being rescued would be the greatest thing ever but in fact it might be the undoing of some of the castaways. Wait, is castaway just for the shipwrecked ala Gilligan or could it also apply to plane crashes?

Either way, I’m excited to see what happens. Don’t toy with my emotions writers of Lost. I swear I will flip the channel and never flip back. I’m not even joking. ER and Grey’s are totally dead to me. Is ER still on? Damn, put that show out of it’s misery all ready.

I have a feeling many of the new shows will not be around in the next 3 weeks. See you later, Caveman, we hardly knew ye. But bonus, Rock of Love 2 is in the works. I guess Bret and Heather aren’t going to make a go of it. Shame, that hair was built to last.

Sweet fancy moses, my kids have the chicken pox. WTF? I vacinated their germy little bodies. Apparently you can still get it but it’s not as severe. I remember back in the stone age when I had it all over my body and in some of my nether regions. Not pretty.

Actually only 3 out of 4, have it. To top it off, they will be home most of next week, My surgery is next week. Oh help me, Jesus. How restful 3 screaming kids will be. Help me out hydrocodone. I don’t know if that will be enough. I may need to call on his friend, oxycotin. Maybe just a nice swing to the head with a bat. Just make sure I’m unconcious.

They all look fine other than a few red splotches. That is good to note. However if any of them infect me, it’s farging war. I am not cancelling this surgery. I’ve mentally prepared myself for it and I am ready to go. Put me on the table and cut me open aleady.

And tell me how much you love my chicken picture. He’s completely naked and hilarious. What happened to his feathers? Was he robbed? I don’t know but I LOVE IT. You are one hot chicken. Yes, I know it’s a rooster but there were no pictures of any chickens this lovely. Papa don’t preach, I’m keeping my rooster.

Wow! First blog ever. I thought I’d try this whole blogging thing. I was feeling way too old over on, My Space. Right off the bat you should know that I love comma’s. I’m not the best at puncuation, grammar, spelling, all that stuff most people like to poke fun at. I also hate backspacing so I just move on.

I’m al about living in the future people. I’m only doing this becuase I find myself in a crazy predicament and one of those many forks in the road. I’ve been doing the whole  mom thing and chugging along when out of nowhere my body decided to crap out on me.

 I will be having a hysterectomy in a little less than 2 short weeks. I’m anxious and terrified. But I’m also unhappy and know I do not want to keep on this path hoping things will get better when I know they will not.

 Well, not on their own anyways. Plus there’s this whole thing of pondering life and all the randomness. You know, blah, blah, blah. Perhaps writing it out will make things more clear. If not, at least someone can enjoy mocking my bad puncuation.